niedziela, 27 listopada 2011

'So you want to kill yourself? Because no one cares about you. Your family hates you. Right? No. Your parents walking in your room in the morning to only find a dead body. They’ll try their hardest to not think negative, and to just think that you’re fooling around. Then they’ll start shaking you. Why aren’t you breathing? They’ll be broken. Tears. Many tears. More tears than you ever shed.... Was it them? Were they the reason you did this? More tears. Pain. Every day. Every night. Every single second of every day. Guilt. More guilt. What about your bestfriends? They’re not going to care. Right? No. What’s the first thing that will go through their mind when your principal comes in and tells the class that you’re not alive. While your bestfriend sits there in tears. That girl that you’d smile at but never talk to? She’s now crying. The boy who used to kick you under the table just to annoy you? He’ll be shocked. He’ll be devastated. He’ll blame himself. What about your teacher? Thoughts crossing her mind. She’ll question if you did it because she didn’t make school comfortable enough for you. Pain. Devastation. All in one. Who organises your funeral? Who has to go through your stuff? Clothes? Notes? Those few older girls who used to give you daggers at school? They’ll feel regret. They’ll blame themselves. See, if you killed yourself today, you’ll never know what might of happened tomorrow. You’ll never know because you’re dead. Plain dead. Not breathing. Not alive. Just dead. Your family hates themselves for it. Your bestfriend then falls into depression. Tears. Tears. More tears than a river. All because you killed yourself because you thought noone would care. Right? You are loved. By many. Someone right now is thinking of you. And right now, I’m thinking about anyone who has thought or is considering suicide. You are beautiful. No matter if you’re black, white, homo-sexual, tall, short, overweight or anorexic. You are beautiful. You want to kill yourself? Think about it first. There’s no coming back. And I promise, if you do it, you are not only hurting yourself, you are hurting many. You are creating more tears than you led yourself to. You are making everyone miserable and making them all feel guilt and pain. Never will they feel whole like they used to when they had you. You are beautiful. And you are never ever alone. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.'

sobota, 26 listopada 2011

kiedyś byłam smutna. więc się kaleczyłam. ale zauważyłam, że muszę nazwać swój smutek, aby móc się znowu uśmiechać. sama wybrałam.

sometime I was sad. so I asked myself the pain. but I noticed that I have to call my sadness to be able to smile again. I chose alone. 

Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And the worst part there’s no-one else to blame

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I’m needy
Warm me up
And breathe me 

piątek, 25 listopada 2011

czwartek, 24 listopada 2011

I would like to have a dad.
hey, hug me.
God knows what is hiding in those weak and sunken eyes.


Hi, I’m ordinary girl from Poland. I’m 16. I never show my face and never show my name… But my alter-ego’s name is Berenica Birdy Hope. Berenica because phere - bring i nike - victory. Hope because I’m Hope. I win my life. Finally, I want to find friends. I want to stop silent. no more hating.

I love you already.

see ya, Berenica